I say:
People, that's gross! And, leave Calista alone. She doesn't want to answer these ridiculous questions.
I absolutely refuse to discuss the finer points of vampiric digestion [EVER]. It's not going to happen, so get over it. Having said that, I will address a trait that frequently arises in modern fiction--the myth of blood tears.
In Interview with a Vampire, Anne Rice effortlessly describes "the stain of tears, tinged with mortal blood" (Rice 258). The reader cannot help but envision a pale, porcelain cheek striped with the trails of crimson tears. The imagery is beautiful. Rice is not the only author to describe blood-tainted tears. Raven Hart's vampire narrator says, "One of my tears fell onto her fine skin. The tear was tinged pink with the blood that animates my body" (Hart 212). Cecilia Tan's vampire feels the need to explain his clear tears "If I had been feeding on people, they would be blood tears," he says (Tan).
Like most dramatically romantic characteristics, "the notion that vampires cry blood tears" is a "new and unique development, but not one that makes biological sense. Presumably, vampires" must "have other fluids inside their bodies" and if tears were affected, then liquids like "saliva would be blood as well" (Ramsland 66-7).
Can you imagine every drop of sweat, snot, and saliva being reduced to blood? You would be left with no other way to describe a vampire than to say that he is "a bloody mess." It's not a pretty picture anymore, is it?
"Why the ingestion of blood would produce blood tears any more than the ingestion of wine would make [humans] weep red zinfandel is a mystery" of fiction (Ramsland 67). Certainly some authors have tried to make excuses for this medical marvel. Erin McCarthy offers this solution: "the vampire trait of crying blood tears...is usually chalked up to sinus infections" (McCarthy 164). While bacterial conjunctivitis can cause an individual to cry blood-stained tears, you can't believe that vampires have perpetual sinus tract infections. What an existence that would be!
Now, I'm not saying that Haemolacria [definition: physical condition whereby a person produces tears which are partially composed of blood (wikipedia)] is impossible; I am saying that it is not a trait that arises from vampirism. If haemolacria and vampirism were linked, then you would certainly no longer see vampires as the sexy, suave creatures of modern fiction.
That is all,
Ana
Sources:
Abstract Desktop Nexus. Tear for a vampire. [Picture]
Hart, Raven. The Vampire's Seduction.
McCarthy, Erin. High Stakes.
Ramsland, Katherine M. The Science of Vampires.
Rice, Anne. Interview with a Vampire.
Tan, Cecilia. A Taste of Midnight: Sensual Vampire Stories.
Wikipedia. "Haemolacria". 24 August 2009.
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